And the sun slowly fades on summer

I woke up yesterday morning to a cool breeze making its way through the open windows of my apartment. The sky was an incredible aquamarine and seemed to sit higher in the atmosphere than usual. For a moment I dreamt I was in Atlanta, on the first day of Autumn. Of course, Atlanta's cool days never come till near the end of October and I flashed back to present and realized I was in Manhattan and that summer is still high, yet drawing to a close.

Tomorrow, my summer vacation--the first one I have had since 2003 when I graduated from high school--will end. I will wake up at 6:30 AM and take the dog out, climb the four flights of stairs back up to my apartment in a sleepy stupor, put on a pot of coffee, feed the animals, and begin to get ready for my first day of work. Since March, I have bombarded every non-profit in NYC with resumes. I scoured the job listings on Idealist.org and Craigslist and any opening that seemed even remotely in my field received a personalized cover letter and resume.

I began to lose hope on ever finding a job after having lived in New York for over a month and not having had a single interview. As the economy turned further downward I began to consider the inevitably shameful move back to Atlanta where I would beg for my old job back; another failed attempt at success in New York. Finally in June, I got a call for an interview with a national human rights organization. I donned my best suit, prepared my portfolio with writing samples and letters of recommendation and arrived at the interview ready to impress. I was quickly called back for a second interview. Fairly confident that I would get the position, I waited for the call which they promised me "either way". It never came.

Watching my savings dwindle, especially after Butter's near-death experience, I feverishly started to apply to all jobs--cleaning, nannying, dog-walking. On the advice of a friend, I sent resumes to all the major staffing and temp agencies in New York. After months of believing myself to be undeniably inadequate, one of these staffing agencies got me an interview and ultimately a job.

So tomorrow my summer ends. I will arrive at my new office near Grand Central, settle into my desk and begin work for the largest Jewish organization in the states. From time to time I will daze off into a daydream about all the things that I intended to do this summer but for one reason or another didn't and I will promise myself that I will make more of an effort to go out and experience New York. And before I know it Autumn will be here.